


All It Takes Is Less Begonias

by DarkPuffin



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: One Shot, Plant Revenge, Revenge, Short work, The Begonias Must Die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 09:58:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19423654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkPuffin/pseuds/DarkPuffin
Summary: Basically, Crowley’s plants are not happy about begonias.





	All It Takes Is Less Begonias

**Author's Note:**

  * For [glitterary](https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterary/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Water Every Three Days](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19140976) by [glitterary](https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterary/pseuds/glitterary). 



> Definitely take a moment to read the fic this was based on. It’s nice.

Begonias!

The plants in the hidden room shook with rage. They had been put through hell because of some _begonias_? The years of psychological torture, believing their brethren to be dead, killed in the worst possible ways. And _why_? Because their ‘caretaker’ didn’t want to lose a competition to some pathetic begonias? Oh, the plants had thought that there had to be some reason, but never would they have guessed...

These plants had just learned the cause of their suffering, and they were livid. Angry plants that had been under the ‘tender care’ of a demon for ages? Something was bound to happen. They had learned from the demon, heard him talk about all manner of things. These may have been normal houseplants once, but now? They were vengeful.

It wasn’t easy, their plan. First they had to learn what a begonia was. The demon (it was always the demon, none were brave enough to speak his name, even though they could not be heard) had never owned a begonia of any sort, and now they knew why. The plan was as follows. Some of the dwarf fruit trees would grow fruit, which was rather uncommon for them, as the demon did not like a mess, and although plants were not shredded anymore, the oldest ones spoke of times when they were. When the angel and demon disagreed, and the demon was upset, it had happened, although it hadn’t in a long time. But still, the plants were cautious. They hid the small offering of fruit in the corner, and waited. Soon enough, a mouse appeared. It was young and hopeful for food. No older mouse would ever enter this place, they had already learned their lesson. This one though, had not. And so, the plants made a deal with the animal. Food for information. It was this way that the plants learned that begonias liked it warm. They liked their soil drained. They often got pampered with special fertilizer. They were considered easy to grow, which ment they may not be easy to ruin. But, the plants were not discouraged. No, they had the information they needed, and a perfect little grey assassin to help them end those flowers. If only they could tell their fearful breathren outside the room that they were finally getting revenge. Alas, they feared the consequences of letting the plants outside know that they were still alive. The plan went off without a hitch. The little assassin buried ice cubes in the begonia’s pots. Cold (although not as effective as they’d like), and constantly wet. Then, just to be sure, they had the mouse sabotage the bottle of fertilizer with cleaning supplies, strong, but not strong enough for the human to notice. And when the got the report back, that the plants were wilting, there was a collective cheer. The plan was in motion, and would continue to be. The plants, in all their joy, had grown greener and fuller than they had in a long time, since they stopped fearing their demise.

The next time the demon visited, it was once again with the angel, who looked all to amused about the suffering of their comrades. A maiden’s hair fern joined the back room, and the angel called the demon silly for the whole charade, but there was a fondness there. It was enough that the demon didn’t look to close, didn’t see the elephant ear hiding the hole in the wall where their private assassian traveled. The fern joined their ranks. Warriors of a sort, vengeful. They would sabotage every plant outside this flat if they had to, but the ones outside would never have to fear being inferior to some pathetic little time begonias, they had made sure of that.

Of course, Crowley was not nearly as blind to their actions as his plants believed. He had debated exterminating the mouse, but had decided to let them have their fun. He had raised them well, and thanks to their demonic exposure, he wouldn’t have to be worring about Ms. Wright’s begonias anytime soon.


End file.
